Before I could even sit on the front porch, she pulled up. I have never had a female cab driver. She popped the lollipop out of her mouth and asked, “are you the one that called for a cab?”
Yep!
“Why did you say you lived at 170 04?”
Well, because I live at …, I begin, as I point to the numbers above the door.
At 170-40.
I got my own address wrong. And this is how the past couple of weeks have been. I forgot how to turn on my oven. I tried for an hour until my mom came home. I have been losing almost everything I own. Including my mind.
“That’s ok sweetheart, hop in.”
I am so sorry. I need to go to, hold on, its 83-21…
“OBGYN?”
Yes! Wow, how did you know that?
“I bring pregnant women there all the time.”
Thank God! I’m so glad you know where it is.
“Why?”
Whenever I go, I can never seem to find it.
“That’s because you’ve never had a woman driver.”
That’s the truth. I was only going to get my last Gardisil shot, but I was still nervous. Nervous enough to take a $22 cab instead of the train, which was just blocks from my doctor. I hate doctors. Especially the gyno. Just being there brought back feeling of dread, knowing that a flashlight and and assortment of tools would soon be up my crotch. It’s just a shot Maria, just a quick shot and we’re outta here. This was my last doctors appointment, I was anxious to get it over with. Turns out, I was supposed to get this last injection months ago.
I know she told me to come back in September for the last one.
“Nope. You were supposed to come in July.”
Well, I remember it was September, because I thought I would be out of the country by then. She said to come as close to before I had to leave as possible.
“Well, come in anyway, and you can fight with her when you get here.”
No thank you, I’m not going to fight with the woman who gives me pap tests.
I was the only one there, and was still shoved in a cold room with nothing but stirrups and a bright orange examining table for half an hour.
“Hi Maria.” Finally. “You are just here for the last injection?” Yep. “OK.” She flips open my file, and glances up at me. “You are due for a pap smear.”
I froze. “Are you sure?” I knew very well I was due, but was sure I could avoid the subject. “Oh, I’m sure. I can’t let you leave the country without one. I couldn’t live with myself. Just to be safe Maria.”
Well, I don’t have time to come in for another appointment.
“That’s alright, I can do it right now. Take off your clothes.”
Oh. Ok. Fabulous. At least I got my cab fares worth.
